MY GRANDPA; MY FRIEND

My grandfather was not a man with a large physique.  However, he was a man of gargantuan stature.  Attorney-General of Nigeria, an S.A.N. (when this was a highly guarded commodity), Chairman of the Body of Benchers, CON, etc, etc.  Yet these were not the qualities which made him, in my eyes and in the eyes of his contemporaries, a true noble.  It was his unblemished integrity, uncompromiseable values and a fearlessness to do what he believed was right.  This was not because he didn’t have the capacity for fear as we all do.  It was because of his faith in God: God’s love for us, God’s plan for us and the purpose of man to live in His service.

One of the strangest and perhaps most admirable things to observe about my grandfather was his neo-liberal attitude.  Though he was quite a traditionalist (there was never an occasion, not anywhere, I didn’t “dobale” when I met him), he was quite convinced about the talents and ability of women to perform as well as their male counterparts.

I could write volumes about his virtues and his reputation, but the fact is that there is now a vacuum in my life.  My adviser, my patriarch, my God-sent guide, my ‘David to a Solomon’, my friend, my grandfather is gone.  Yet he is forever with me in spirit.

KE SUN RE GRANDPA

Your strength has gone to rest tonight

Wildpeace warming through wisdom weary eyes

Love unbridled journeying forcefully through this life

Reigned in through His glory

Passion sailing the waves of time

Hiowe Grandpa

You lifted those who would not have reached so tall

You willed change, summoned good,

Leaving a legacy of hope, discipline, zeal

Giving all for the principles on which you stood

Searching within, placing Gods love, hard work

Above creed, place and time

Kachifo Grandpa

Your star will blaze unrelentingly in our minds

His arms a loving comfort, as we long for you in these times

Your timely words, carefully studied love

Witty eyes and protective gaze

Never again to grasp firmly at your time worn palms,

Not once more to rest in your loving embrace.

The sun in your voice will never set

The joy in our hearts will never fade

The words you have planted in us will grow in those after us.

Allah ya jikan ka Grandpa

The end of a road that we journeyed with love

Time to thank Him for fulfilling His word through your love

talent, ability a ferocious appetite to strive good

Knowledge and wisdom filling our hearts with warmth

Feeding our hearts with faith and drive, etching determination unto our spirits

God in all things, gratefulness in all situations

Your light shines through us forever

Sleep, never to be forgotten

Ke sun re grandpa

A good name is more desirable than great wealth. Respect is better than silver or gold. (Proverbs 22:1) 

Grand pa it is still hard to believe you are gone. It was too easy to be cajoled by the vibrancy in your eyes and the certainty in your voice that you would always be a firm, loving presence in our lives. Although the task would be daunting, it would have been more fitting to ask us to write a book than an article about you, Sir. All that we have shared: the memories, the experiences, the love, cannot find justice in a few paragraphs. Still, we will do our best to give a glimpse of your love and thank you for all the moments you lovingly gave to us.

Our earliest memories of Grandpa go back to 44 Montgomery road, Yaba. Hurried rehearsals of our combined knowledge of Yoruba, as his signature ring of the door bell filled the air with authority and expectation. Grandpa would stride through the door, his regal agbada and uncompromising stance giving him an entrance befitting any royal court. We formed a lined path in front of him, each anxiously awaiting our turn to greet. True to form, Grandpa, as ready as we were, tested each of us on our Yoruba. Reminding us that where we are from and who we are can never be separate. 

There was always a lesson to be learnt from talking to grandpa. Although he gave as good as he got with jokes and always had a witty comment to leave you with a smile, we never left his side without feeling wiser. Looking back now it is clear he made a conscious effort to impart these teachings. He told his stories so that we would carry the lessons from his life as we pursued ours. Grandpa lived a long and fulfilled life. His stories of his journey through life always left us awe struck and in a respect fuelled daze. Stories that reminded us of the power of Gods love, the certainty of success where there is prayer and hard work, and the importance of good values as we go through life. Grandpa always said that if you trust in God, work hard and wish people well, success will be yours. These simple words held a powerful message. This was the message behind his success, the mantra by which he lived his life. In Grandpa we had a gift from God, a patriot and a teacher shaping our morals and guiding our thoughts. Teaching us what he had learnt through experience, equipping us to face life with his words in our thoughts. 

The foundations of our beliefs; our unwavering reliance on God, our work ethic, our love of our country, are all living legacies of Grandpa’s life. Growing up with Grandpa, we enjoyed from an early age, stories of his younger years. Grandpa gave us an exciting glimpse into early Nigerian politics. He ensured the passion and beliefs of his generation would live on through our imaginations. Grandpa was a proud Nigerian. He taught us that being Nigerian is not merely a right to a green passport or citizenship. It is a privilege and a weighty responsibility, to be undertaken with a sense of God’s purpose. Grandpa believed that we are all born to give back to the communities we are from, with hard work and our individual talents. He believed in Nigeria and Nigerians. He was proud of who he was and where he was from and instilled this pride in us all. 

Grandpa was at all times always our friend. As children Grandpa was as strict as he was loveable and fun. He effortlessly straddled the dual roles of strict disciplinarian and warm hearted purveyor of all that was fun. We learnt a lot from him from a young age but we always had fun with him. Grandpa clearly loved children and his grandchildren can all attest to the enjoyment he got from seeing us have fun. The look in his eyes was priceless like your laughter or smiles had evoked an even greater amount of the same feeling in his heart. He was constantly making time for all of us and we all have fond memories of playing on the verandah in Anthony Village with Grandpa egging us on and supporting our regular sieges on his abode. Grandpa’s garden was the site of many childhood adventures, parties were thrown, and his pretty lawn was regularly dug up and filled with fruitless holes, as our childhood farming/gardening fantasies were fulfilled with his loving sanction. I’m sure none of us grandchildren can forget the dancing competitions in Grandpa’s study. He would gather us all and crank up the stereo as he presided to judge the best dancer in our pack. Who can forget when Grandpa taught us all to shoot! Or when he marched us over to a farm to harvest some corn! Or arriving in Ikenne to him on the stairs berating us for not appreciating fully how much better the air was in Ikenne! How much better, apparently to our young ears, everything was in Ikenne! On his frequent trips to London, it was fun to walk down King’s road with Grandpa, to hear about London when he was there as a student and enjoy the escapism of experiencing two worlds at once. At every possible birthday, whenever there was a graduation or a celebration, there was Grandpa. Completing the happiness we could feel at the occasion. We had fun with grandpa! As we grew older the vehicles changed but Grandpa was ever willing to be part of our escapades and show us that he might be old but he was not weary and he certainly had enough energy to watch his grandchildren be happy. If he had to take a car ride, or a flight, journey a couple of minutes or a couple of hours, he went through the strain to show his love.

It was too easy to sit and talk to Grandpa. It was too easy to call him and empty out the strain of a bad day at work or at school. You never had to say ‘Grandpa so and so happened’, before he heard in your voice that there was something on your mind. His keen mind and knowledgeable eyes spoke of years of having seen all that we could go through and all that would worry us many times before. His advice was always priceless and his support invaluable. He was always there with the words that would stop the tears, call up the smile or make you laugh when you needed it the most. Over the Christmas holiday when his age was starting to show, he was the one comforting us and reassuring us in the knowledge that God is his comfort and provider. When we lost our grandmother Mrs. Margaret Etotan Giwa-Osagie this January, it was Grandpa’s voice that stemmed the flow of tears and once again directed us to strength and gratefulness for the will of God. It was too easy with grandpa and we are going to miss grandpa. Our strength and optimism however is fuelled by his words and his love and his unfailing trust in the Almighty.  

An era is over for us and for all who knew Grandpa. Our guardian and our angel has passed fittingly into the next life. We hope we showed him in this life how much he meant to us and that he knew we appreciated his love, patience and time. We will continue to emulate his good work and know that his legacy beats strongly in the heart of his loved ones, and in the hearts of all who knew him. Grandpa was a great man, a strong man, and his legacy will endure through time. We thank God for the time we had with him, for the love He has shown us through him, and for the lessons we have all taken from his life. 

You are with God grandpa and although we miss you here, we could never have asked for more. We rely on your instructions as we mourn you, avoiding ungratefulness in our grief. We look up to God with gratitude for your life and lovingly commit you to His embrace, to rest in perfect peace. 

FOR A WONDERFUL GRANDFATHER

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you planned:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.

-“Remember” by Christina Rossetti

IN LOVING MEMORY OF CHIEF KEHINDE SOFOLA

To My Grandfather:

Distance separates us, like two villages: with a vast stripe of bushes and a swath of beaten paths which lead from one to the other.

I dream of the day we’ll gather again; and tell tales of survival,

But God guided you to a New Home, where we sit around a dinner table, giving Him praises.

Amen.

Love Omotara

MY GRANDAD

Up in heaven where you are happy 24/7 watching down always ready to smile.

When will I see you

You looked so strong

Here on earth you belong

But your stay we couldn’t prolong

Worked so hard

Didn’t go unnoticed

Mind always focused

Solely devoted

Death has its time for all of us

We weren’t expecting yours

But we wont lie down and not make a fuss

Because you are special.

THE WORLD’S GREATEST GRANDFATHER

Grandpa, the few years spent with you will forever be kept in a special part of our hearts.

We thank Almighty Allah for your life.  Thank you so much for being there for us.  Mum said when we were little before you left for work each day, you would come to our room, carry us, throw us up, speak with us, while we babbled baby talk.  You encouraged us when we took our first steps and did all our firsts.

We love you and will forever miss you.  How we wish we had more time to spend with you …… 

Your legacies will never be forgotten, dear grandpa.

We love you but Allah loves you more.